Just Like Me: My Battle with Depression for 10 Years

Why didn’t I tell anyone? Why did I allow my depression to push me into this dark web of secrecy? What did I learn about myself throughout these conflicting struggles of self-induced pain? Why am I now coming forth with my story? The frustrations and agony of isolation were too much to bear. Yet, I endured like a soldier, sacrificing my mental health for the sake of my children, family, and community. How many other black men are placing their lives in danger daily for the benefit of communal preservation?

If I could have run away, I would have done so. The hand of God kept me in place until the lessons were learned. All I can think about now is, “What was that all about”? After a few moments of deliberation, I am tasked with taking the garnered wisdom and creating transformative experiences.

In the face of conventional wisdom, my mind wanted to flee the States, but my heart said to stay and wrestle through the change process. I wrestled and found myself creating patterns of self-sabotage to cope with the anxiety of living in a social construct that I would have never espoused for myself. I did the work and finished the course, and now I must reflect on helping others along their paths.

I just wanted to be free. My mental health took a back seat to the demands of adulthood. I languished in the sea of…