5 Psychological Reasons Emotionally Resilient People Are Often Unhappy
I used to think I was selfish and devoid of empathy until I realized my emotional resilience was God-given. Whenever a chaotic situation would arise, I never shied away from calming my frantic mind. Deep within, I understood life to be full of surprises and always wanted to sort through the entrapments with a clear mind.
In the world we live in now, you are cast into the lake of fire if you show no emotion in situations where others cry, yell, panic, freak out, scream, and lose all sense of reality. When my daughter passed away in 2018 (A stillborn), I was discouraged for months with no emotion about the situation.
I became unhappy with myself and couldn’t understand why my sadness wasn’t projecting externally through tears. At the time, my wife found me not supportive enough and responsive to her pleas for the loss of a child.
I never could relate to a woman carrying a child for seven months and then losing that child. Yes, it happens all the time, but I wasn’t emotionally available in my reflection because I hadn’t learned how to be supportive with the same emotional intensity.
Thus, I resonated with being strong in a situation requiring deeper transparency and vulnerability. For 20–30 years, these minor emotional disturbances can leave an empath like me unhappy and fragmented by the nature of my healing modality.
“Resilience is a muscle. Flex it enough, and getting over the emotional punches each time will take less effort.”~Alecia Moore
If you are emotionally resilient, hundreds of situations can cause you to be unhappy with yourself, and not in the wrong way. Unhappiness can often lead to psychological breakthroughs, introspection, divine guidance, and many insights that can heal others.
Just like different aspects of our personalities, for example, Emotional Intelligence and Social intelligence, emotional resilience is a trait that has been in operation since birth and continues to develop throughout life.
Emotional resilience is not about gaining lots of victories. It is about the strength to power through the storm and keep the sail steady. You may experience unhappiness at times but do not know why. Here are a few insightful thoughts on the “Why” of your situation.
You have high standards and ideals that are difficult to consistently meet: Emotionally resilient people are motivated to grow, improve, and pursue meaning. However, holding oneself to high standards can lead to frequent disappointment when those ideals don’t manifest.
You are more attuned to life’s challenges and difficulties. Resilient individuals can face problems head-on rather than avoid them. However, this also means confronting pain, injustice, conflict, and other troubles more directly rather than looking away. You never run and see the fight for what it is “a life lesson.”
You struggle with the same mental health issues as everyone else. Being resilient doesn’t make someone immune to anxiety, depression, trauma, or other conditions that can contribute to unhappiness. They cope with these issues more adaptively.
You take on heavy responsibilities and emotional labor: Many resilient people take on caregiving roles, champion social causes, or help others through hardship. The weight of these duties can undermine their happiness. People may overlook the burdens of servitude in the world of Individualization.
You contemplate and self-reflect frequently: Resilient individuals are often introspective, analyzing their emotions and questioning themselves. However, excessive rumination and self-criticism can lead to unhappiness.
Overall, resilience enables people to navigate life’s difficulties but doesn’t erase those challenges. Emotionally resilient folks may appear unhappy because they confront troubles openly rather than masking them. But their skills equip them to regain their happiness ultimately.
Remember that unhappiness is subjective. It doesn’t mean you are depressed or have given up on life. Unhappy people are happy as well. We use the Yin/Yang principle as a force for object realism.
